I bought a pack of cigarettes.
I think I need to change this blog back to having some kind of story instead of just saying what happens to me each day, as that is far too depressing.
If anyone has any suggestions feel free to comment, I've never had a comment...
Saturday, 8 October 2011
Monday, 3 October 2011
Ocsoberfest
My dog wants me to quit smoking.
I usually smoke perhaps a pack every two months, lately it's about a pack a week..
Since moving out and with various other stresses- gambling rehab, the come-down from the pills, the pills not helping with work, work, relationship difficulties, it's obviously increased.
The idea of a month without them isn't so bad, but having three left in the pack is difficult, like walking away from a pokie with $3 left in it, or ignoring the half a bottle of vodka in the glove box of my car.
Speaking of the vodka I've had some near misses lately, things could have gone worse, so I feel karma demands a degree of restraint on my behalf.
But going for the trifecta is never easy... I'm unsure whether to attempt it, which sounds like I won't.. but it's probably best to not fall back in to all three vices for want of a few cigarettes now and then.
But then...
I usually smoke perhaps a pack every two months, lately it's about a pack a week..
Since moving out and with various other stresses- gambling rehab, the come-down from the pills, the pills not helping with work, work, relationship difficulties, it's obviously increased.
The idea of a month without them isn't so bad, but having three left in the pack is difficult, like walking away from a pokie with $3 left in it, or ignoring the half a bottle of vodka in the glove box of my car.
Speaking of the vodka I've had some near misses lately, things could have gone worse, so I feel karma demands a degree of restraint on my behalf.
But going for the trifecta is never easy... I'm unsure whether to attempt it, which sounds like I won't.. but it's probably best to not fall back in to all three vices for want of a few cigarettes now and then.
But then...
Saturday, 1 October 2011
I have a blog?
Oh yeah, this thing...
So the original idea here was that I'd spit out a bunch of "chapters" and eventually end up with a book I could sell on eBay for $1.99 a pop, but it turns out that the only person reading the posts was my partner and eBay can go fornicate themselves, another matter entirely.
The point being that this blog will now probably become more like your standard mundane blog, less like a story and more like someone crapping on about their day and you can basically pick any random post and it'll all be the same junk.
So for those of you who care (hi honey); Yes, the rumors you've heard in the tabloids are true, I've been kicked out of my partners house. Originally it wasn't to do with gambling, but then it somehow became about gambling and now I'm in one of those hellish periods where I have to attend soul-crushingly bleak meetings three times a week with various people who'd rather be somewhere else.
In addition to this I've gone on amphetamines lately, on account of not being able to focus on my work at all. They don't seem to help, just keep me up until the wee hours of the morning but in terms of focus, concentration and motivation- nada.
Basically at this point I'm finding life to be like this blog: very difficult to bother with or to ascertain the point of it's existence.
So for all my adoring fans out there, thanks for tuning in but the story (now of recovery) is about to get boring.
So the original idea here was that I'd spit out a bunch of "chapters" and eventually end up with a book I could sell on eBay for $1.99 a pop, but it turns out that the only person reading the posts was my partner and eBay can go fornicate themselves, another matter entirely.
The point being that this blog will now probably become more like your standard mundane blog, less like a story and more like someone crapping on about their day and you can basically pick any random post and it'll all be the same junk.
So for those of you who care (hi honey); Yes, the rumors you've heard in the tabloids are true, I've been kicked out of my partners house. Originally it wasn't to do with gambling, but then it somehow became about gambling and now I'm in one of those hellish periods where I have to attend soul-crushingly bleak meetings three times a week with various people who'd rather be somewhere else.
In addition to this I've gone on amphetamines lately, on account of not being able to focus on my work at all. They don't seem to help, just keep me up until the wee hours of the morning but in terms of focus, concentration and motivation- nada.
Basically at this point I'm finding life to be like this blog: very difficult to bother with or to ascertain the point of it's existence.
So for all my adoring fans out there, thanks for tuning in but the story (now of recovery) is about to get boring.
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